The Food Thief

When I first moved here, I came with a friend that I grew up with. We were roommates in college for a couple months before deciding to make the trip out here and live together.

Jamie and I started out as good friends, hanging out all the time, going to bars together, but then she started becoming extremely anti-social. I wouldn’t see her for weeks at a time. She would almost plan to leave her room as soon as she heard my door shut. She actually reminds me of a cat. She hides out all day in her room, I’m not even sure she’s alive sometimes and she only talks to me when she needs something from me. A little back story on Jamie, she claimed to move to Los Angeles so she could work in PR, however two years later, she’s still working at a restaurant with no plans of a career.

My theory on why she came here: her ex-boyfriend moved here shortly after they broke up in college and she was following here hoping to get him back (which she did). Only took her a year and a half to convince him to date her again.

One of the things you should know about me is that I have mild OCD and I don’t like when people take my stuff without asking. Over the two years I’ve lived with this girl, some of my stuff has disappeared. I can handle someone borrowing my clothes, having a glass of milk, etc. However, I’ve come home to all of my weed gone, tried to have a cookie only to find an empty box in the pantry and she hasn’t bought shampoo or conditioner in about 6 months.

When the first cookie incident happened I bought a box of Chips Ahoy and less than a week later it was empty. I confronted her and her response? “Oh my god! That’s so weird. I don’t even like that kind of cookie. I bet your friends stole them.” First of all, if my friends wanted to eat my food, they would say “Sara I’m going to eat this.” second of all, YOU ARE THE ONLY OTHER PERSON THAT LIVES HERE!

So, I bought a box of cookies on Tuesday with Kiley and Marina. The box had three rows of five cookies in each. I had 4 from the first row. I know this because Marina said, “Sorry I had to put the box away because there was one left and it kept looking at me.” Fast forward to Friday and I go to have a cookie and there are TWO left in the entire box. Listen, if you’re going to steal someones food, you never empty out all of its contents, you take one or two TOTAL.

So here’s my plan of attack: I will buy a box of cookies and eat a couple. Then each day I will take a photo of the box and catch her in the act. Clearly, I’ve been thinking about this for awhile, but if you take someones food or borrow something you should replace it or return it. It’s really not hard.


One thought on “The Food Thief

  1. Agreed, everyone knows the secret to stealing from your roommates is to take just a small enough amount to go unnoticed. I hate when people lie to your face like that about something that is so blatantly a lie. And then to get called out on it but keep doing it…. she must want to get caught.

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