And It’s Been Awhile

That title makes me want to sing a Staind song.

I apologize that I have not updated this blog in forever, but alas, life has gotten in the way and on top of my job at the talent agency, I have been writing for a website (and getting paid for it)! Unfortunately, since I use my real name on the website you won’t ever know if what you’re reading is actually mine. So there’s that.

Boy, I actually don’t know where to begin this blog.

1. Let’s start with the last post that I posted. I probably won’t meet a boy. You know what I’ve learned in the past three months? The moment you stop giving two fucks about men, they will come at you from all angles. AND the more you don’t care, the more they want to talk to you. It’s completely absurd and I don’t know why life is like that. So give it a shot because I was asked out on three dates in one week. Did I go on all of them. Nope because I really don’t give a fuck. It’s not an act. I went on one of them though about 3 weeks ago and I am still talking to the same guy, which is basically a record for me. But more on the Chaz situation on another day.

2. I probably won’t quit my job. Nope, sorry to say that this has not happened yet. I worked so hard over winter breaking on freelancing for two different places and ended up making a lot of extra cash though. So, I’ve determined so long as I continue writing like i have been then I will feel okay about my job and stop complaining.

3. I haven’t lost weight. maybe one pound because I’m busy as fuck and don’t have time to eat, but yeah nope. Too lazy for that.

4. Clearly I haven’t been posting every week. I promise I will work on that.

5. I have stopped smoking in my car. Oh a round of applause? Why thank you.

Until next time,

Bye Betches

The Flashy Resume and why “Networking” is Stupid

I have a friend who works for a website that everyone in the world loves. I asked her, “How did you get that job?” She immediately sent over her resume and cover letter that ‘got her hired’ and I was instantly jealous. Her resume was flashy, had colors, a cool design and it hit me like a ton of bricks: Is this what employers are looking for? Am I already outdated?

As I looked down at my plain, Times New Roman resume (orĀ curriculum vitae as some of you fancy ass people might call it), I felt like I had been doing things wrong all along. I decided to look into it and found this website about 50 resumes that will land you your dream job.

I also read her cover letter and it was perfectly presented, funny at the right moments and hit all the right keywords for the job she was applying for. Needless to say I just want her job.

On a totally unrelated topic…

I also had a glass shattering moment (How I Met Your Mother reference, obviously) as I read this, I make a horrible first impression. You know when you get into an elevator and someone makes a stupid comment about the weather? I hate those people. Or when you go skiing and as you ride up the chairlift strangers ask where your from, what you do and the runs I like on the mountain? I hate those people. Which is why when my boss told me I need to go to Social Media Week and “Network” I had a mini panic attack.

I’ve never been someone who can get up in front of a room and bullshit for 20 minutes. I’ve never been someone who can act super interested in what someone is saying when I don’t give a shit and that is a horrible way to be. I’ve tried to be friendly, sometimes I genuinely love talking to people, and I’m good at it if I feel like the conversation has meaning, but Networking forces people into a room together to make small talk and it doesn’t actually do anything.

Have you noticed that people who create great things are the ones that come together because they want to. They come together because they have similar beliefs, ideas and interests. That is how great things are made. I don’t believe that “small talk” and “bullshitting” are valid ways to interact, but that’s just my opinion. I would love to hear the latter.

So, next time you are out “networking,” go talk to the girl in the corner who looks bored as fuck because it’s me, I’m witty and I’ve been people watching for an hour. You can’t imagine the types of conversations that happen at a networking event.

10
10

One Week at An Agency

I’ve officially started my new job. You don’t get much more Hollywood than this: I am an assistant at a talent agency…. it’s basically the lowest of the low in Hollywood.

Want to know what I’ve learned so far?

-“Good Morning, ___________ ____________’s Office”

-“Let me try them on their cell. One moment please.”

-I have learned in four short days how to schedule the fuck out of things…I can’t even manage my own life, but I know my every waking move of my boss.

-Industry hours 9AM-7PM…Are you kidding me? Because I don’t have anything better to do. I’m happy all the people who aren’t assistants are out of here at 5PM, but don’t worry I’ll cover the non-ringing phones for two more hours. You’re Welcome.

-I tucked in a shirt into dress pants this week. Never have I ever….tucked in my shirt, or wore dress pants. Welcome to the real world, Sara, it sucks!

-People at agencies are pretentious about their entertainment. I totally get it, but I love The Hot Chick and Scary Movie and The Lifetime Movie Network, so deal with it. I accidentally told people about my love for shitty movies. My mistake.

AND FINALLY THE MOST IMPORTANT FACT:

-People who work at agencies fucking love themselves. You never have an actual conversation with them. They are patiently waiting for you to finish whatever you have to say so that they can talk about themselves. It’s weird, therefore, I have made no friends. Although, I did meet a super religious girl who was telling me how she couldn’t say a movie title out loud cause it had the word virginity in it.

Where am I?

Do I Really Want to Write?

In 9th grade I wrote a descriptive paper of the first time I met Joe. I was at the mall and this tall, gangly kid with white blonde hair stopped me just to introduce himself. He was wearing black skinny jeans and a faded ACDC t-shirt. As I looked up at the 5’10 boy, his smile had me mesmerized. He had the cutest dimples and bright blue eyes. We dated for a week.

Now, I’m sure that’s not exactly what the paper said, but my teacher held it up to the class and read my description of Joe out loud. Mr. Wilson looked at me and said, “Sara, you should become a writer.” From that day on I knew what I wanted to do. I joined journalism and became an editor for the school paper.

Now that I’m out in Los Angeles I don’t think I want journalism anymore. It’s easy for me to write articles. My friends read them and tell me that they loved it, but I never actually get a true response and critique of my work. I want to write a book or a screenplay, but I’m scared that everyone will hate what I have to say. Not to mention, I’m good at writing things from my perspective, but when it comes to writing multiple characters, I don’t know how to distinguish between voices and create a new life.

So what exactly do I want to write? I was thinking a half hour comedy about life as a 20-something in Los Angeles. What it’s really like. An assistant at an agency gets paid virtually nothing, actors work at waiters in restaurants well into their 30s and everyone in production has an unstable lifestyle of bouncing from project to project. It would be a less hipster version of girls and the characters would be less obnoxious because Hannah Horvath is actually the most annoying character on TV at the moment.

The problem is that no one cares about what life is like here unless you live here. I have all these thoughts and ideas, but I never seem to carry them out in full and I don’t know how to force myself to do it. Anyway, that’s my random rambling of the day. Feel free to give me some advice.

10

In What World Do Agents Live?

I had an interview today with a talent agency. I’ve been back and forth with them for awhile and I was basically offered the position today. Before we get on with the congratulations, you got a job aspect, let me just say: How the fuck do people in the entertainment industry expect you to live.

Assistants in the agency world make somewhere in the $20K’s. HOW DO YOU LIVE? To live in a decent apartment out here you have to dish out the cash. Not everyone has mom and dad helping them, but I’m about to have a full-time job making less than I would make on unemployment. How in the world does that even make sense?

I wish people who make lots of money would look at assistants and realize they would be nothing without them. Realize that they can’t even manage their day-to-day lives without their assistant. So why treat them and pay them like shit?

Any thoughts would help here. I mean. I’m getting a second job, but what happens when he wants me to work weekends? Sorry buddy, I don’t get paid enough for this.

10