Friend Updates

I’m sure that you have already forgotten all of the lovely characters in my blog, but that’s why there is a character page. So, go back and read up on them.

This post is dedicated to updating you quickly about all of their lives in the most shameful and embarrassing ways. Because I’m a dick.

Marina lost her job, but of course being Marina landed a new job in the IT world before her last day at her old job. Was I jealous? Yes, don’t ask stupid questions.

Kiley Kiley Kiley. I need to save the longer story for a new post because it’s pretty dramatic and important that I tell you start to finish. Basically, I yelled at her. A lot. For being a pain in my ass.

Dave is no longer a bartender! He has sold his soul to the entertainment industry. Welcome, friend.

TJ is still bothered by the little things in life. He finally got over his crush on Bradley and has been seeing this new girl. I know very little about her, but it can’t be too serious because on New Years Eve he uninvitingly shoved his tongue into my mouth… AWKWARD. Oh and congrats to TJ for getting a job as a talent manager!

Sam. Remember when I told the story of our one date? I can’t escape it. Also saving for another post as it is a long story, the only thing  you need to know is that I am now seeing Dave, Sam and TJ’s new roommate, Chaz. Maybe I will introduce him tomorrow.

Carol is now working for a non-profit. She is a much happier person although she is still a sarcastic bitch.

All things are the same with Gabe, except we now have a writing group together every Monday night.

Nothing new to report about Hank.

Liv moved away guys! Such a sad day, but she’s rich as fuck and left to travel the world, and now she’s teaching ski lessons in Vermont. Very Swanky. I will probably take her out of my characters page, but updates will still randomly come.

Finally, Julie is going to be moved to a regular character on my blog. Julie and I are starting a lifestyle blog. Surprise! It is going to launch in a couple months, but I guess you’ll just have to figure out what it is. Julie is still working for a teen mag and hooking up with Dave at random moments. Sometimes she gets drunk and kisses TJ too.

I know it’s a lot to take in, but me and my friend, just living the poor life in LA. Comment if you want to know anything about any of the characters. I will be happy to fill you in.

That One Time Julie and Dave Fucked…And Everyone Freaked Out

Meet Dave: Dave is a nice guy, has a tendency to sleep around and date multiple girls at once.

Now Meet Julie: Since Julie works for a teen magazine, she never has to grow up. This means when she drinks, she is out of control.

On the characters page, I wrote a brief summary of my group of friends. To sum it up, Kiley met Dave at a bar, they hit it off and everyone came together as friends because of them. Kiley had a major crush on Dave, but Dave was worried that anything more than a friendship would tear the group a part. As a result Kiley took her feelings and shoved them somewhere, somewhere being the bottom of a vodka bottle.

One night, everyone was drunk, as we are most nights. We all hung out at the boys house and I noticed Julie and Dave drunkenly conversing on the couch. and that was the end of the night. I got home, went to bed and woke up ready for brunch with my friends.

As we sat at the table I looked over at Julie. I noticed her make-up was all over her face, her hair was in disarray  and she was wearing the same clothes from the previous night. I leaned over to Sam:

Me: So, whose bed did Julie end up in last night?
Sam: I really don’t want to point fingers, but… (points to Dave)

I quickly texted her under the table.

Me: DID YOU AND DAVE FUCK LAST NIGHT
Julie: Ugh, yes… 😦
Me: I wouldn’t tell Kiley.

Inevitably, in a close knit group, Kiley found out about 20 minutes later.

Now, I pride myself on staying far away from the drama, albeit airing our dirty laundry on this site, but EVERYONE lost their shit. To this day, I have no idea how it escalated the way that it did, but:

Dave told Kiley that she needed to get over him because he was sick of her getting upset.
Kiley, who wasn’t even that upset, told Dave not to have sex with all her friends unless he was seriously into one of them.
Sam was openly gossiping about it when Kiley yelled at him and told him to mind his own damn business.
Julie texted Kiley and apologized and tried to blame Dave for the whole situation.
Instead of telling Kiley what she needed to hear, Liv tried to stray away from conversations about the topic, only making Kiley more mad.

and where was I? Smoking a cigarette.

My Best Friend is “Trying”

My best friend from back home is trying to have her second child. Granted, she was knocked up by a huge d-bag when she was 19 and had her first child at 20. However, now she is almost 24 and married (to a different guy) who adopted her child and is raising him as his own. I know, how does one find a boyfriend when said person is pregnant? I will never know.

I called her last night and we talked for about three hours. Here’s a couple things you should know about this friendship.

When we were in high school me and my friend, Mia, went to a house party. I decided to bring along this guy Greg because I wanted to hook up with him. We got to the party and I ran into a different boy I’d had a crush on forever. I decided that I really didn’t want to hook up with Greg and told Mia she should definitely go for him! He was cute, nice, and so on. Little did I know, four years and a horrible on-and-off relationship later, she would get knocked up and he would break up with her by writing her a note in her diary.

Technically, and I say technically in the most liberal way possible, her baby, her marriage and her life is all because of me. I don’t really know whether that is a good or a bad thing, but we will pretend that it’s great.

I never thought that I would get to an age where people were trying to get pregnant. I never thought about planned pregnancies as a thing until last night. She told me that I should find someone and settle down. In my mind, finding someone feels like the end of my own life. It’s not even that I’m not trying to find someone, but in Los Angeles, no one is focused on serious relationships until way later in life. Every time I blink another year goes by and I don’t seem to be progressing at all.

Today I decided to be happy about my life. I have a new job and I will be getting a weekend job on top of that to make the amount of money I need to live and OKCupid told me today that I’m one of the hottest people on the site… GREAT. I’m going to make a whole post about the best OKC messages I’ve received… It’s very sad.

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