Welcome to 24

Last week was my 24th birthday. I would like to make a list of all the things I wish to accomplish, but every time I make lists I end up avoiding the things I actually wrote down.

However what’s the point of posting if I’m not going to share all the things I probably won’t do this year.

1. I probably won’t meet a new guy, but I need to because the one that I have is useless and likes to work more than he likes me. Meeting a guy in LA, who doesn’t completely suck, is almost an impossible task (you think I’m joking? I’m fucking serious. Everyone in “the industry” is very annoying and only cares about themselves). ┬áConsidering I’m too scared to online date, and too poor to go out this probably won’t happen.

2. I probably won’t quit my job. I am not cut out for the agent life. I am an asshole but I’m not a mean person and I never have been. It takes someone who is a complete dick to be a talent agent. Once a day my boss says to be more aggressive…um no sir, I won’t. I like my attitude just the way it is. Thanks.

3. I probably won’t lose weight. Here’s the problem with this. I get up, eat breakfast and leave for work at 8:30. I don’t get off work till 7 PM. The very last thing i want to do before and after that 11 hour span is exercise. I have TRIED to wake up early and it’s pointless. My body is basically like, “Um please fuck off I’m still sleeping.” After work, if I work out, then I won’t eat dinner till 9 at night. So this all goes back to needing to quit my job…basically.

4. I probably won’t post on this every week. I would like to write on this way more often than I have been, but surprisingly I don’t have much to say on my own life that would be able to inspire you… I only boost people’s already awesome egos.

5. I probably won’t quit smoking cigarettes. This one is interesting. I actually don’t really care if i smoke. I could actually go a while without smoking, but I choose not to. You know how people get more and more addicted, well I can sufficiently say that one pack of cigarettes lasts about a week and a half for me… which compared to actual smokers is pretty fucking good. So, I definitely don’t see that ending.

6. I probably won’t finish this post. I’m serious guys, I’ve had this post in my drafts for almost a month now. I have problems.

Happy birthday to me.

10

The Food Thief

When I first moved here, I came with a friend that I grew up with. We were roommates in college for a couple months before deciding to make the trip out here and live together.

Jamie and I started out as good friends, hanging out all the time, going to bars together, but then she started becoming extremely anti-social. I wouldn’t see her for weeks at a time. She would almost plan to leave her room as soon as she heard my door shut. She actually reminds me of a cat. She hides out all day in her room, I’m not even sure she’s alive sometimes and she only talks to me when she needs something from me. A little back story on Jamie, she claimed to move to Los Angeles so she could work in PR, however two years later, she’s still working at a restaurant with no plans of a career.

My theory on why she came here: her ex-boyfriend moved here shortly after they broke up in college and she was following here hoping to get him back (which she did). Only took her a year and a half to convince him to date her again.

One of the things you should know about me is that I have mild OCD and I don’t like when people take my stuff without asking. Over the two years I’ve lived with this girl, some of my stuff has disappeared. I can handle someone borrowing my clothes, having a glass of milk, etc. However, I’ve come home to all of my weed gone, tried to have a cookie only to find an empty box in the pantry and she hasn’t bought shampoo or conditioner in about 6 months.

When the first cookie incident happened I bought a box of Chips Ahoy and less than a week later it was empty. I confronted her and her response? “Oh my god! That’s so weird. I don’t even like that kind of cookie. I bet your friends stole them.” First of all, if my friends wanted to eat my food, they would say “Sara I’m going to eat this.” second of all, YOU ARE THE ONLY OTHER PERSON THAT LIVES HERE!

So, I bought a box of cookies on Tuesday with Kiley and Marina. The box had three rows of five cookies in each. I had 4 from the first row. I know this because Marina said, “Sorry I had to put the box away because there was one left and it kept looking at me.” Fast forward to Friday and I go to have a cookie and there are TWO left in the entire box. Listen, if you’re going to steal someones food, you never empty out all of its contents, you take one or two TOTAL.

So here’s my plan of attack: I will buy a box of cookies and eat a couple. Then each day I will take a photo of the box and catch her in the act. Clearly, I’ve been thinking about this for awhile, but if you take someones food or borrow something you should replace it or return it. It’s really not hard.

A Little Self-Deprecation Never Hurt Anyone

My name is Sara and three months ago I was laid off from my first post-college job.

I moved to Los Angeles to become a respected entertainment journalist. Respected may be a bit of a joke, but I wanted to write about the entertainment world, cover red carpets, review movies and enjoy living in the celebrity world. Instead, I was writing blogs that companies paid us to write. With several company changes, my boss was fired, I was placed in a whole new position and then was offered full-time making no money. So, when I was finally told that they didn’t have the money to keep me, I was relieved. That is, until I realized that no one wanted to hire me.

Yes, I am going through a quarter-life crisis. I’m unemployed, single and the only thing that I love about my life is my friends, who are also just as miserable in their minimum wage jobs as I am.

So what’s next? I have applied for over 100 jobs since I’ve been let go and got four interviews so far. I don’t really know what I want to do anymore, but I freelance write on the side to make ends meet. I live in a two bedroom apartment with my college roommate who I used to be friends with, but since we moved here she’s stopped talking to me, except for the occasional passive aggressive text message. I started writing this blog because everyone in their 20’s can relate to us. Jobs pay absolute shit now and the cost of living is at an all time high. I hope that this blog provides a fun escape for those who are in the same position and help older people understand that we’re not a generation of spoiled kids living off their parents. I’ve done above and beyond what I can to get hired, but the competition is so high that I don’t have very many options.

Besides the whole job thing, I used to have a boyfriend. He only cared about his work and at first I really liked that about him, but he would only allow himself to see me 1-2 times a week max. This went on for a year. To this day, I never spent a full 24 hours with him. He ended it when I asked him to spend a Sunday watching movies. He said he didn’t have the time to waste hanging out with me and he just wanted to work. So, that ended things quickly, except for the fun fact that I worked with him. So, getting laid off actually helped me get over that relationship. Lesson learned, never shit where you eat.

I guess that’s enough for now. I can’t tell you my entire life story in one post. You’ll want to come back for some juicy stories, because trust me, I have them.