In What World Do Agents Live?

I had an interview today with a talent agency. I’ve been back and forth with them for awhile and I was basically offered the position today. Before we get on with the congratulations, you got a job aspect, let me just say: How the fuck do people in the entertainment industry expect you to live.

Assistants in the agency world make somewhere in the $20K’s. HOW DO YOU LIVE? To live in a decent apartment out here you have to dish out the cash. Not everyone has mom and dad helping them, but I’m about to have a full-time job making less than I would make on unemployment. How in the world does that even make sense?

I wish people who make lots of money would look at assistants and realize they would be nothing without them. Realize that they can’t even manage their day-to-day lives without their assistant. So why treat them and pay them like shit?

Any thoughts would help here. I mean. I’m getting a second job, but what happens when he wants me to work weekends? Sorry buddy, I don’t get paid enough for this.

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The British Invasion (Otherwise Known as The Time I’m 90% Sure I was Drugged)

Liv finally got home from visiting her swanky family in Bridgehampton last week, which is good because I needed my friend back that drinks wine, enjoys cheese on basically everything and knows how to party.

Just as I was getting into bed the other night Liv calls and tells me that her two British college friends are in town and they wanted to go to Main Street in Santa Monica. I decided that I had been a shut-in for too long and it was time for a night out. When I got to Liv’s apartment I met the two most non-attractive British guys ever. Don’t get me wrong, they were really fun guys, but it’s the one time a British accent didn’t make me fall in love.

One thing I should mention in this story is a little background on Liv’s roommate situation. She found this girl, Briana, online and moved in with her until one day when Liv found an entire block of cheese she bought missing. She quickly discovered that her roommate “sleep eats,” if that’s actually a thing, I would be surprised. Briana is also a vegan… supposedly. She once told me that she’s a vegan unless she’s on a date. Finally, Briana online dates… A LOT. So she recently met a guy who is a pick-up artist, which you would think is ehhhh probably not the best dude in the world, but she’s very proud of this guy.

So, Briana decides that she’s going to get wasted and come out with us. great. It takes a lot for me to get extremely drunk. Three vodka shots doesn’t even come close. We head out to the first bar where Briana proceeds to tell me how she doesn’t want to date this guy because of his profession and how her parents would react. I’m normally extremely sympathetic, but she had already disclosed his penis size and what it was like when she gave him a blow job. At this point, I yelled at her and said:

1. you don’t have to tell your parents about this guy right this minute. If you date him, fall in love, then yeah tell them then.
2. I don’t care about your sex life Briana, tell me it’s good sex that’s great, but I don’t need to know the exact spot his penis hits your throat.

She found someone else to talk about him with. Finally we got back after the third bar. What did I learn? No one goes out on Wednesdays. Liv was done when we got back to her place. She definitely vomited on the curb and then instantly passed out.

We went out on the balcony to smoke when Briana brought out a joint. She said she’s had it for awhile. So me and the two Brits got high and something weird happened. I made it to Liv’s bed to pass out, and all of a sudden I couldn’t move my body. I got insanely sick and puked (sorry Liv!) all over her floor. I wasn’t able to get up. I woke up feeling sick and drove myself home.

I found out later that the two boys were also extremely sick and that’s never happened to them either. I’m 95% sure that joint was laced with something. I’m also sure that after hearing everything about Briana, you would agree with me.

Lesson learned.

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Dating a Friend

Today Kiley sent me a link to this website called 40 Days of Dating. The premise of the site is that two good friends were going to date each other for 40 days and see what happened. Are they going to fall in love? Will they end up hating each other?

Tim, the guy has a problem committing in relationships and Jessica falls for guys in an instant. Both of them have not been able to hold on to a relationship.

When I read this, I kept trying to think about what it would be like for me to do this with a friend. I don’t think think that I could become physically attracted to them. I’ve tried to envision myself with my two best male friends from college. One is a man-slut who has slept with way to many women to count and the other one is, well, bald. Anyways, I found the idea very interesting and spent an hour or so reading the entire site. I can’t wait to see how it ends for them. It made me realize that I should be going on more dates and meeting more people.

That’s my random thoughts for the day. Do you think if friends try to become more romantically involved they will fall in love?

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The Downside of Media

First of all, I should start this article by saying, I absolutely love watching tv, movies and catching up on my daily dose of celebrity news. 

I just started watching Game of Thrones. I know, I know, I’m late as fuck to the party, but I’m poor so give me a break. Here’s the problem: I have become so deeply involved in the show that I don’t even want to leave my house. 

I schedule times to hang out with my friends so we can have viewing parties of certain shows. When did we become so obsessed with living through other people, real or fictional? I catch myself thinking that if I were in the show, I would totally plot King Joffrey’s death. 

There are so many outlets: cable, Netflix, DVDs, iTunes movies and TV, Hulu, HBO Go, etc. and all we want to do is watch everything we possibly can. I don’t even know what a day without Facebook and Social Media is like. 

I once thought to myself that I was going to cut out everything. Texting, Facebook, Twitter, but it has become impossible. Don’t get me wrong, I hate seeing engagements and pregnancies on Facebook, but I’m looking at them! Why? I don’t even know. I always creep on my Facebook friends to see what’s going on in their lives. 

It seems as though we would rather live through other peoples lives versus our own. 

 
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The Food Thief

When I first moved here, I came with a friend that I grew up with. We were roommates in college for a couple months before deciding to make the trip out here and live together.

Jamie and I started out as good friends, hanging out all the time, going to bars together, but then she started becoming extremely anti-social. I wouldn’t see her for weeks at a time. She would almost plan to leave her room as soon as she heard my door shut. She actually reminds me of a cat. She hides out all day in her room, I’m not even sure she’s alive sometimes and she only talks to me when she needs something from me. A little back story on Jamie, she claimed to move to Los Angeles so she could work in PR, however two years later, she’s still working at a restaurant with no plans of a career.

My theory on why she came here: her ex-boyfriend moved here shortly after they broke up in college and she was following here hoping to get him back (which she did). Only took her a year and a half to convince him to date her again.

One of the things you should know about me is that I have mild OCD and I don’t like when people take my stuff without asking. Over the two years I’ve lived with this girl, some of my stuff has disappeared. I can handle someone borrowing my clothes, having a glass of milk, etc. However, I’ve come home to all of my weed gone, tried to have a cookie only to find an empty box in the pantry and she hasn’t bought shampoo or conditioner in about 6 months.

When the first cookie incident happened I bought a box of Chips Ahoy and less than a week later it was empty. I confronted her and her response? “Oh my god! That’s so weird. I don’t even like that kind of cookie. I bet your friends stole them.” First of all, if my friends wanted to eat my food, they would say “Sara I’m going to eat this.” second of all, YOU ARE THE ONLY OTHER PERSON THAT LIVES HERE!

So, I bought a box of cookies on Tuesday with Kiley and Marina. The box had three rows of five cookies in each. I had 4 from the first row. I know this because Marina said, “Sorry I had to put the box away because there was one left and it kept looking at me.” Fast forward to Friday and I go to have a cookie and there are TWO left in the entire box. Listen, if you’re going to steal someones food, you never empty out all of its contents, you take one or two TOTAL.

So here’s my plan of attack: I will buy a box of cookies and eat a couple. Then each day I will take a photo of the box and catch her in the act. Clearly, I’ve been thinking about this for awhile, but if you take someones food or borrow something you should replace it or return it. It’s really not hard.

The Dreaded Backslide

I’m ready for Siri to tell me that I’m too drunk to send a text. I wish that she would yell at me and tell me I’m going to regret that in the morning.

Two and a half months ago I told my ex he was an asshole and I hated him. We haven’t spoken since. That is until last night, when my drunk ass made a fool of myself asking him if he ever really cared about me. Even in my drunken state, I quickly apologized and told him to forget I asked something like that, but it was too late.

Kiley, Bradley and I went out to a birthday party last night. We pre-gamed at Kiley’s with vodka shots and headed out to the first bar around 10. Around 9 PM every Friday at least one of us is in contact with the boys, but last weekend we bailed on them. Me and Bradley quickly realized that so long as Sam and TJ had feelings for us, we wouldn’t be able to meet new people with them around.

I decided to ask Sam if they guys were mad at us. He said no, but that lately everyone is saying that we need to take a break and that we’re too codependent on each other. I agreed and told him that I think him and TJ need time to move on from us and that I didn’t really know how he felt because I always heard it secondhand.

I received this text in response: “Sorry, I know I’m not the most direct person, but how I feel is this – I like you and always have. There is no one I enjoy hanging out with more because you crack me up and call me retarded when I get lost in the Beverly Center, and whenever there’s something on my mind, I know I can tell you about it. At the end of the day, if you were to ask me if I could be with anyone, it would be you.”

Basically the nicest thing any one has ever said to me and I still didn’t feel anything for him. I feel like I sit here and complain about wanting a guy like that and yet, when it happens, I don’t want it. I think it would be different with the right person, but I haven’t found that yet.

Needless to say, I took that moment to get absolutely wasted, which leaded to the dreaded backslide conversation with Jason, my ex.

We ended up at, The Surly Goat, a dive bar by The Grove, where I proceeded to meet some French guys and danced the rest of the night away with them. Me and Bradley headed back to Kiley’s and slept through our hangovers.

Today I woke up with a text from Jason and from Sam and I realized that I would have to deal with my drunken mistakes. I made a short casual conversation that ended quickly with Jason and avoided a face-to-face conversation with Sam because I flat out told him that I would never be more than friends with him. I knew it would kill me to have to say it to his face.

All I can say is that I am mad at myself for backsliding, but I’m happy I finally made Sam realize that he needs to move on.

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Good Morning, Quarter-Life Crisis

I woke up this morning, ready to apply to jobs like I do every morning and this video popped up on my newsfeed.

Here’s what I don’t understand. How does Mark Zuckerberg know everything about me? Mainly I’m being sarcastic here, because I know Google can take words that I’m saying and places that I’m searching to put the right ads in front of me, but I still think it’s creepy.

Here are the daily ads I get via Facebook: Online Dating apps, Something about adopting a pet so I’m not alone, and ads for all the clothing that I can’t afford.

In a nutshell, It’s not helping the whole Quarter-Life Crisis situation. So thank you Mark Zuckerberg for reminding me on a daily basis that I need a boyfriend and a job.

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The Sam Story

I love my group of friends. In fact we are all so codependent on each other that we rarely go a day without a big group text that lasts throughout the entire day. 

The first time I met Sam I was on the rebound from my ex. There’s really only a couple things you need to know about Sam. 

A. He is the nicest guy you will ever meet.

B. He speaks very slowly and talks a lot, leading you to want to punch him in the face sometimes. SPIT IT OUT SAM. 

C. He’s basically a dad. Makes dad jokes and just wants to find a girl to date long-term.

We went to dinner and then to a comedy show. Here’s the thing about someone you date, I’m about to drop a huge bomb on you: YOU HAVE TO LOVE THE PERSONS LAUGH. There is nothing worse than being with someone when you can’t stand their laugh. So at the end of the night we kissed, said goodbye and that was the end of it. So I thought. 

Sam never expressed to me how he felt. EVER. The next time he asked to hang out I actually had plans with friends. The next time, I was leaving for a long vacation early the next morning. When you have a group of close friends like we do, you can’t tell one person something without the rest of us finding out. 

After I got back from vacation, I hear that I’ve been leading Sam on. Now we barely talked after that night. We had just met and I knew nothing about him. I decided to ignore it and let the whole thing fizzle out and hopefully he would just accept it. That didn’t happen. Finally out one night with all our friends, I pull him aside and tell him that I’m sorry if he felt like I lead him on, but that I wasn’t interested in him as more than a friend and when friends date within each other, bad things happen. 

For the next four months, he would get drunk and profess his love for me to everyone except me. I don’t know whether to feel bad for Sam or not. He’s been hooking up with other people along the way, but I try not to do anything that would suggest I’m interested in any way. I’ve started to give him more and more space so that he can find someone he really likes. I hope that means with him not around as often I can find someone new as well. 

 
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Goals = Empty Promises

Last night I lied to someone about what I’ve been doing with my life. I’ve written about 10 pages of a book. When I first came up with the concept for the novel, I was typing away and then something happened; I got bored. I thought to myself, “If you’re bored writing it, then who the fuck would want to read it.” I’ve always done that though. I’ve had creative ideas that I get bored with and give them up as quickly as they came. 

The same thing will probably happen with this blog. I don’t want it to, but why continue something when you’re bored of it. 

So last night my ex-boyfriends roommate called to catch up. He told me that he missed having me around and to be honest, yeah I miss it too. Of course I do, but the last thing I said to my ex was that I hated him and that he was an asshole. I can’t really take those things back, mainly because it was the truth. I listened and listen to him incessantly bitch about work, but he couldn’t remember the simplest things about my life. I’m surprised he even remembered my birthday. 

His roommate asked me what I’ve been up to and I told him I had 50 pages of my book completed. I also told him about how great I’ve been and I guess it was just to save face. I’d like to think that everyone has been in that situation. Especially because I don’t want my ex to know that I don’t really know what that next step is. 

Everyone is always so confident about their lives. Are we all just trying to save face? Maybe we’re all equally as confused and just don’t want to admit it to the world. 

 
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A Little Self-Deprecation Never Hurt Anyone

My name is Sara and three months ago I was laid off from my first post-college job.

I moved to Los Angeles to become a respected entertainment journalist. Respected may be a bit of a joke, but I wanted to write about the entertainment world, cover red carpets, review movies and enjoy living in the celebrity world. Instead, I was writing blogs that companies paid us to write. With several company changes, my boss was fired, I was placed in a whole new position and then was offered full-time making no money. So, when I was finally told that they didn’t have the money to keep me, I was relieved. That is, until I realized that no one wanted to hire me.

Yes, I am going through a quarter-life crisis. I’m unemployed, single and the only thing that I love about my life is my friends, who are also just as miserable in their minimum wage jobs as I am.

So what’s next? I have applied for over 100 jobs since I’ve been let go and got four interviews so far. I don’t really know what I want to do anymore, but I freelance write on the side to make ends meet. I live in a two bedroom apartment with my college roommate who I used to be friends with, but since we moved here she’s stopped talking to me, except for the occasional passive aggressive text message. I started writing this blog because everyone in their 20’s can relate to us. Jobs pay absolute shit now and the cost of living is at an all time high. I hope that this blog provides a fun escape for those who are in the same position and help older people understand that we’re not a generation of spoiled kids living off their parents. I’ve done above and beyond what I can to get hired, but the competition is so high that I don’t have very many options.

Besides the whole job thing, I used to have a boyfriend. He only cared about his work and at first I really liked that about him, but he would only allow himself to see me 1-2 times a week max. This went on for a year. To this day, I never spent a full 24 hours with him. He ended it when I asked him to spend a Sunday watching movies. He said he didn’t have the time to waste hanging out with me and he just wanted to work. So, that ended things quickly, except for the fun fact that I worked with him. So, getting laid off actually helped me get over that relationship. Lesson learned, never shit where you eat.

I guess that’s enough for now. I can’t tell you my entire life story in one post. You’ll want to come back for some juicy stories, because trust me, I have them.