Welcome to 24

Last week was my 24th birthday. I would like to make a list of all the things I wish to accomplish, but every time I make lists I end up avoiding the things I actually wrote down.

However what’s the point of posting if I’m not going to share all the things I probably won’t do this year.

1. I probably won’t meet a new guy, but I need to because the one that I have is useless and likes to work more than he likes me. Meeting a guy in LA, who doesn’t completely suck, is almost an impossible task (you think I’m joking? I’m fucking serious. Everyone in “the industry” is very annoying and only cares about themselves).  Considering I’m too scared to online date, and too poor to go out this probably won’t happen.

2. I probably won’t quit my job. I am not cut out for the agent life. I am an asshole but I’m not a mean person and I never have been. It takes someone who is a complete dick to be a talent agent. Once a day my boss says to be more aggressive…um no sir, I won’t. I like my attitude just the way it is. Thanks.

3. I probably won’t lose weight. Here’s the problem with this. I get up, eat breakfast and leave for work at 8:30. I don’t get off work till 7 PM. The very last thing i want to do before and after that 11 hour span is exercise. I have TRIED to wake up early and it’s pointless. My body is basically like, “Um please fuck off I’m still sleeping.” After work, if I work out, then I won’t eat dinner till 9 at night. So this all goes back to needing to quit my job…basically.

4. I probably won’t post on this every week. I would like to write on this way more often than I have been, but surprisingly I don’t have much to say on my own life that would be able to inspire you… I only boost people’s already awesome egos.

5. I probably won’t quit smoking cigarettes. This one is interesting. I actually don’t really care if i smoke. I could actually go a while without smoking, but I choose not to. You know how people get more and more addicted, well I can sufficiently say that one pack of cigarettes lasts about a week and a half for me… which compared to actual smokers is pretty fucking good. So, I definitely don’t see that ending.

6. I probably won’t finish this post. I’m serious guys, I’ve had this post in my drafts for almost a month now. I have problems.

Happy birthday to me.

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Goals = Empty Promises

Last night I lied to someone about what I’ve been doing with my life. I’ve written about 10 pages of a book. When I first came up with the concept for the novel, I was typing away and then something happened; I got bored. I thought to myself, “If you’re bored writing it, then who the fuck would want to read it.” I’ve always done that though. I’ve had creative ideas that I get bored with and give them up as quickly as they came. 

The same thing will probably happen with this blog. I don’t want it to, but why continue something when you’re bored of it. 

So last night my ex-boyfriends roommate called to catch up. He told me that he missed having me around and to be honest, yeah I miss it too. Of course I do, but the last thing I said to my ex was that I hated him and that he was an asshole. I can’t really take those things back, mainly because it was the truth. I listened and listen to him incessantly bitch about work, but he couldn’t remember the simplest things about my life. I’m surprised he even remembered my birthday. 

His roommate asked me what I’ve been up to and I told him I had 50 pages of my book completed. I also told him about how great I’ve been and I guess it was just to save face. I’d like to think that everyone has been in that situation. Especially because I don’t want my ex to know that I don’t really know what that next step is. 

Everyone is always so confident about their lives. Are we all just trying to save face? Maybe we’re all equally as confused and just don’t want to admit it to the world. 

 
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