This is What Happens When I Watch Mary Poppins

 

 

k byeHave you guys watched that movie recently? No seriously, look at this crazy bitch spread eagle as Mary Poppin’s blows her ass away. I couldn’t resist, I had to post this.

You’re welcome.

LOL K BYE.

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Friend Updates

I’m sure that you have already forgotten all of the lovely characters in my blog, but that’s why there is a character page. So, go back and read up on them.

This post is dedicated to updating you quickly about all of their lives in the most shameful and embarrassing ways. Because I’m a dick.

Marina lost her job, but of course being Marina landed a new job in the IT world before her last day at her old job. Was I jealous? Yes, don’t ask stupid questions.

Kiley Kiley Kiley. I need to save the longer story for a new post because it’s pretty dramatic and important that I tell you start to finish. Basically, I yelled at her. A lot. For being a pain in my ass.

Dave is no longer a bartender! He has sold his soul to the entertainment industry. Welcome, friend.

TJ is still bothered by the little things in life. He finally got over his crush on Bradley and has been seeing this new girl. I know very little about her, but it can’t be too serious because on New Years Eve he uninvitingly shoved his tongue into my mouth… AWKWARD. Oh and congrats to TJ for getting a job as a talent manager!

Sam. Remember when I told the story of our one date? I can’t escape it. Also saving for another post as it is a long story, the only thing  you need to know is that I am now seeing Dave, Sam and TJ’s new roommate, Chaz. Maybe I will introduce him tomorrow.

Carol is now working for a non-profit. She is a much happier person although she is still a sarcastic bitch.

All things are the same with Gabe, except we now have a writing group together every Monday night.

Nothing new to report about Hank.

Liv moved away guys! Such a sad day, but she’s rich as fuck and left to travel the world, and now she’s teaching ski lessons in Vermont. Very Swanky. I will probably take her out of my characters page, but updates will still randomly come.

Finally, Julie is going to be moved to a regular character on my blog. Julie and I are starting a lifestyle blog. Surprise! It is going to launch in a couple months, but I guess you’ll just have to figure out what it is. Julie is still working for a teen mag and hooking up with Dave at random moments. Sometimes she gets drunk and kisses TJ too.

I know it’s a lot to take in, but me and my friend, just living the poor life in LA. Comment if you want to know anything about any of the characters. I will be happy to fill you in.

Welcome to 24

Last week was my 24th birthday. I would like to make a list of all the things I wish to accomplish, but every time I make lists I end up avoiding the things I actually wrote down.

However what’s the point of posting if I’m not going to share all the things I probably won’t do this year.

1. I probably won’t meet a new guy, but I need to because the one that I have is useless and likes to work more than he likes me. Meeting a guy in LA, who doesn’t completely suck, is almost an impossible task (you think I’m joking? I’m fucking serious. Everyone in “the industry” is very annoying and only cares about themselves).  Considering I’m too scared to online date, and too poor to go out this probably won’t happen.

2. I probably won’t quit my job. I am not cut out for the agent life. I am an asshole but I’m not a mean person and I never have been. It takes someone who is a complete dick to be a talent agent. Once a day my boss says to be more aggressive…um no sir, I won’t. I like my attitude just the way it is. Thanks.

3. I probably won’t lose weight. Here’s the problem with this. I get up, eat breakfast and leave for work at 8:30. I don’t get off work till 7 PM. The very last thing i want to do before and after that 11 hour span is exercise. I have TRIED to wake up early and it’s pointless. My body is basically like, “Um please fuck off I’m still sleeping.” After work, if I work out, then I won’t eat dinner till 9 at night. So this all goes back to needing to quit my job…basically.

4. I probably won’t post on this every week. I would like to write on this way more often than I have been, but surprisingly I don’t have much to say on my own life that would be able to inspire you… I only boost people’s already awesome egos.

5. I probably won’t quit smoking cigarettes. This one is interesting. I actually don’t really care if i smoke. I could actually go a while without smoking, but I choose not to. You know how people get more and more addicted, well I can sufficiently say that one pack of cigarettes lasts about a week and a half for me… which compared to actual smokers is pretty fucking good. So, I definitely don’t see that ending.

6. I probably won’t finish this post. I’m serious guys, I’ve had this post in my drafts for almost a month now. I have problems.

Happy birthday to me.

10

The Sam Story

I love my group of friends. In fact we are all so codependent on each other that we rarely go a day without a big group text that lasts throughout the entire day. 

The first time I met Sam I was on the rebound from my ex. There’s really only a couple things you need to know about Sam. 

A. He is the nicest guy you will ever meet.

B. He speaks very slowly and talks a lot, leading you to want to punch him in the face sometimes. SPIT IT OUT SAM. 

C. He’s basically a dad. Makes dad jokes and just wants to find a girl to date long-term.

We went to dinner and then to a comedy show. Here’s the thing about someone you date, I’m about to drop a huge bomb on you: YOU HAVE TO LOVE THE PERSONS LAUGH. There is nothing worse than being with someone when you can’t stand their laugh. So at the end of the night we kissed, said goodbye and that was the end of it. So I thought. 

Sam never expressed to me how he felt. EVER. The next time he asked to hang out I actually had plans with friends. The next time, I was leaving for a long vacation early the next morning. When you have a group of close friends like we do, you can’t tell one person something without the rest of us finding out. 

After I got back from vacation, I hear that I’ve been leading Sam on. Now we barely talked after that night. We had just met and I knew nothing about him. I decided to ignore it and let the whole thing fizzle out and hopefully he would just accept it. That didn’t happen. Finally out one night with all our friends, I pull him aside and tell him that I’m sorry if he felt like I lead him on, but that I wasn’t interested in him as more than a friend and when friends date within each other, bad things happen. 

For the next four months, he would get drunk and profess his love for me to everyone except me. I don’t know whether to feel bad for Sam or not. He’s been hooking up with other people along the way, but I try not to do anything that would suggest I’m interested in any way. I’ve started to give him more and more space so that he can find someone he really likes. I hope that means with him not around as often I can find someone new as well. 

 
10

A Little Self-Deprecation Never Hurt Anyone

My name is Sara and three months ago I was laid off from my first post-college job.

I moved to Los Angeles to become a respected entertainment journalist. Respected may be a bit of a joke, but I wanted to write about the entertainment world, cover red carpets, review movies and enjoy living in the celebrity world. Instead, I was writing blogs that companies paid us to write. With several company changes, my boss was fired, I was placed in a whole new position and then was offered full-time making no money. So, when I was finally told that they didn’t have the money to keep me, I was relieved. That is, until I realized that no one wanted to hire me.

Yes, I am going through a quarter-life crisis. I’m unemployed, single and the only thing that I love about my life is my friends, who are also just as miserable in their minimum wage jobs as I am.

So what’s next? I have applied for over 100 jobs since I’ve been let go and got four interviews so far. I don’t really know what I want to do anymore, but I freelance write on the side to make ends meet. I live in a two bedroom apartment with my college roommate who I used to be friends with, but since we moved here she’s stopped talking to me, except for the occasional passive aggressive text message. I started writing this blog because everyone in their 20’s can relate to us. Jobs pay absolute shit now and the cost of living is at an all time high. I hope that this blog provides a fun escape for those who are in the same position and help older people understand that we’re not a generation of spoiled kids living off their parents. I’ve done above and beyond what I can to get hired, but the competition is so high that I don’t have very many options.

Besides the whole job thing, I used to have a boyfriend. He only cared about his work and at first I really liked that about him, but he would only allow himself to see me 1-2 times a week max. This went on for a year. To this day, I never spent a full 24 hours with him. He ended it when I asked him to spend a Sunday watching movies. He said he didn’t have the time to waste hanging out with me and he just wanted to work. So, that ended things quickly, except for the fun fact that I worked with him. So, getting laid off actually helped me get over that relationship. Lesson learned, never shit where you eat.

I guess that’s enough for now. I can’t tell you my entire life story in one post. You’ll want to come back for some juicy stories, because trust me, I have them.